Never Get On or Off a Moving Train

Can I just say that Van Jones is a fine specimen







and he can work in my administration anytime. Over and out.

I'm coming up for air. *Miss America pageant wave*

Okay, nothing but frivolity to follow here:

Stuff Stacie doesn't get - in no particular order

Twitter - lots of folks on my f-list do it and I feel like my mother-in-law trying to do an email attachment. Where the hell are the tweets coming from and why does it feel like I'm at a dinner party where no one is talking to me?

Republicans on deficit spending - So you just now got concerned about that?

Why American Idol is still on the air - Hasn't that show become inane and predictable ever since Sanjaya almost won?

Skinny Jeans - Why? Didn't we learn from the horror that was the tight roll about that ish?

Yogurt - Some of you might eat that stuff, but to me it's just slimy pudding - in which case, I'll take pudding!

PS, what the hell is "Pingback"? It's on my screen right under adult content. It sounds sexual. LJ Gurus, what type of perverted mess is going on around here?

I woke up ambitious this morning. I worked out. I henna'ed my hair. Started washing clothes and now I'm about to clean. Go ME!

I got my hair pressed and curled last week. It was kind of cute, but I felt grandma-ish. Here's a picture anyway (one that makes me look less church lady):



Classes started this week so I'm back at the teaching thing. I like my schedule and it leaves me open space to work on

Thatbigbehemothprojectthatismydissertation.

I won't lie, everytime I think about the fact that I'm finally writing this darn thing, I get giddy. I'm ready to get beyond this phase and start living. I've been feeling like I'm in a holding pattern for the past two years at least. I think I need a good, solid, restful vacation in a sunny, tropical climate or something.

So, of course the inauguration has happened and we are entering a new phase in this country. What a day. I know I won't agree with everything President Obama does or every decision he makes, but I do know that I am hopeful and that he is definitely a breath of fresh air from the past 8 years of hell. You wanna talk about torture?

I was going to go the big event, but chickened out at the news reports of the hardships with parking at train stations and the overwhelming cold and crowds. Thanks to the folks on the f-list who documented your experiences. I'm jealous, but at least you made me feel like I was there.

But my main feeling about the inauguration is that these two little girls make my womb tingle. lol! How precious they are!

My Grandmama's Responses to Obama's Election

Grandma #1 (around 80 - would kill me if I gave her actual age): "I sure am glad I had my new flat screen tv to watch Obama win this election. I got a good look at it and I've seen a lot of history, but I never thought I would get to see this kind of history!" 

Grandma #2 (83 years young - don't care who knows - still works and cooks her bootay off): "And baby, I heard that on the INTERNET somebody was praising Obama saying he's gonna be good for this country. He needs to be because Bush got us so low we can't see the bottom."

I love them so much.  I love how hip they are to the Internet and Flat Screen TVs. I can only hope to be as fly as these two ladies when I get to where they are.

I just got in from watching the returns and saw all these beautiful posts on my f-list. I want to add to your wonderful voices and just say,

YES HE DID - YES WE DID!

I have never felt more proud or optimistic about the future of this country. May God watch over and bless the Obama family and all those it takes to make up this great big world of ours.

I'm 31 today. Who's buying me a drank!?!

Lots of incomplete sentences to follow . . .

Just returned from Paris

Gods of fate smiled upon me and sent me there for a week

Ate lots of yummy food and loaves of french bread and crepes

Passed my french exam so perhaps it was the exam god who took me there?

Eiffel tower is much bigger than I thought - the Mona Lisa is much smaller - very humbling to stroll in a museum and around each corner something magnificent, monet, whistler, manet, degas, van gogh

Glad I was in paris to avoid the crappy week that it appears has happened on the campaign trail. I just want it to be over. But still plan to go to Pennsylvania and canvass for Obama. Still, June can't come soon enough

6 hour time difference has me jet lagged . . . no I didn't shop . . . yes I regret it . . . back to bed for me.

I just got back from the Meadowlands for the Barack Obama rally and my heart is full. I don't have any other way to say it. I woke up early, stood in the snow, waited a few hours, but it was all worth it. I ended up being so close to the podium that when he came and greeted people, I got a close picture and an almost handshake. lol! I was so busy trying to take the picture that it didn't dawn on me to try to shake his hand. But as he was leaving and I yelled out "Mr. President," he smiled. It was beautiful. I wish I had more to say, but I'm so full, that I would take away from it by attempting to describe it in all of its awesomeness. I took many pictures. I hope you all enjoy.

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Not too much going on for me. Same old thing, reading, writing, and workin' for the man.
One day soon I'm going to do a proper post. I got thangs to say! In the meantime, I'll just share some photos from my homemade photo shoots. lol! I took down my twists for a minute and decided to wear some puffs. It's slow going, but I'm getting the hang of being a natural gal.

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Okay, back to work! Also, a wonderful early happy birfday to lotus_n_my_hair! *big hugs*!

While I am known for my Panko encrusted Tilapia fillets served over rice pilaf and a fresh spring salad with sundried tomato balsamic dressing, I have just reached up into my grandmama's grandmama's grandmama's womb and pulled out Cornbread, sweet hominy, mustard greens and smothered lemon pepper and garlic chicken for Sunday dinner.

Passes out plates.

new_birth

The lady who made me feel like I could write poetry. The one who always kept it real. I still think about you a lot. You touched my life more than you could ever know.

Love and miss are such fraught emotions. Together they are unsatisfying. But in spite of that, they are also pure. So, I render them as a representation of what's inside although they don't quite do the job. One who touched so many, who loved so deeply, who felt without shame, and fought without fear. I've learned from you. I've grown from you. That still continues regardless of whether you're physically here or somewhere floating in my quiet space. Reminding me of what's possible.

LIFE SUCKS!

WTF is Talk Like a Pirate Day and who in the hell invented this? And other than saying "Arrr" "maytee" and affecting an Irish/Scottish/whatever the hell it is accent, what can you do? I need information!

How do you change your journal title and subtitle? I'm tired of being in the Simulacrum. I'm over it. LJs new buttons and other thingys do not agree with me. Help please.

And Shari Shephard - you're right; the world is flat - it's just that THE MAN wants us to believe it's round so we don't think we can overturn this bitch!

And I have something to say about folks who tell me the world ain't ready for a black or woman president. If ignant folks won't vote for someone because they are black or are a woman in this day and age, then mofos DESERVE what they get and I won't feel sorry for them one bit. If people let their antiquated views of race and gender overrule good sense about who would be the best leader, then eff em I say.

Thanks everyone for the birthday love. It is so appreciated. Overall, it was a nice day and I got two coach bags so no complaints around here.

Initially I was feeling a little blech about turning 30. This is the first age where I've really felt a difference. And for the first time ever, I looked at a person in their mid-twenties and saw them as young. But honestly this is a very positive change. I'm thankful for my life and the fact that I've lived to this age.

Plus, you're as young as you feel, so there's no need for me to stop dancing on tables and wearing miniskirts right? LOL!

Just sharing some pics of my big chop. I know I have a lot of natural ladies on my f-list. Thanks for the support. I cut it myself in my bathroom and then got it coiled.

ETA: I'm just realizing that I have an "Elvis Eyebrow" or The Rock's "The People's Eyebrow". I think one of my eyebrows is higher than the other. lol!
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Not too much to update. Just waving my hand really big and being dramatic. HEY!!!!!

Hope all is well in you all's worlds.

I do have a few feelings spinning in my head from the local news:
*I really hope Sean Bell's family gets justice.
*I wonder who put all that rat poison in cat and dog food. Whoever it was needs to be burned at the stake (I really don't think that was accidental).
*And speaking of rats, since the good ole rat debacle at the Taco Bell/KFC in the Village, I can't bring myself to eat at my fav. Wendy's right next to school because so many restaurants are being called out for rats. I need my jr. bacon cheesburgers to rock away my grad school blues, but alas, I'll be damned if it's being served up by mickey mouse and his little rodent friends.

I would talk about how I've been incredibly frisky lately, but it's so TMI that I'm going to leave that in the recesses of my mind until the freaky time is right. lol! I blame that completely on spring.

And lastly, a meme from the loverly shadowfae

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next three sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
6. Tag five other people to do the same.

"(Interviewer): Yes, a number of things can get in the way of writing; lots of teachers of literature would like to write, but perhaps their teaching gets in the way of the writing. Now, you are a writer, and an editor and a teacher - how do you do it?"

(Morrison): Well, I suspect that full-time teaching would get in the way of writing for me because you have to think a certain way about the literature you are teaching, and I think that would spill over into the way in which one has to think when writing."

Taken from Conversations with Toni Morrison

For purely selfish reasons, I really want to thank you shadowfae for tagging me. I've been reading Morrison interviews to find inspiration for my own writing. Her insight has been so valuable to me. I hadn't gotten to page 23 yet, but it really captures part of what hinders my ability to really relax and get into the writing. Teaching literature makes me think about it much differently and often hinders my creativity. (Hell if I didn't have so many papers to grade all the time, maybe I could actually write something.) She goes on to offer her strategy for overcoming that - such as reading something totally outside of one's interest or experience in order to come to the work fresh with no ready-made thoughts about the nature of the text. I'm sure that it's not only teachers who suffer from outside hindrances to writing, but other things such as jobs, various irons in the fire, etc. that can get in the way.

Ultimately, I guess it's about prioritizing and setting a goal and just getting down to it. Which is what I'm trying to do. Wish me luck. : )

I tag all of my LJ friends because ya'll know I love books and I'd love to see your choices.

“The View”

I
Four hours to sit in the chair
The yanking at the scalp
The pulling of each hair
Lordhavemercy if she tries to braid this little piece right at the top of my forehead I swear I’m going to let this go and settle for nappy edges

And in the end I stroll out of the shop with my crown and glory, neat, and protected from the rain, snow, and hot combs.

II
Three white women attacked me today
Right there in my office
While I was grading papers
While I was thinking about what I was going to get from the cafeteria to eat before I knew it

They were all over me

And when they left I felt

Confused

After all, they were only touching my hair
Like Barbara Walters was my friend multiplied by three
Right?

These same women were my peers, my colleagues
People I had sat down to martinis with
Ones who had given me advice, made me feel like them

III
Their resident homegirl
The one who they like to haul out as their black friend
magical experiemental a rag doll of intellectual proportions
like the ones with the voice box installments willing to blink
and laugh when you touch their cheeks or belly buttons in just the right spot.

My countenance no longer the same
Rebuked without warning

Now, I listen to their banter and smile
With one hand on my hip
And the other guarding my hair

And when they talk to me
I’m watching their hands

Let me just say if I hear one more person question Barak Obama's "blackness" I think I'm going to lose it.

To be clear, I think it is mainly white journalists or journalists looking for a headline who present this argument, which is also very problematic to me.

One thing I know for sure is that if Barak Obama's house was bombed by whites, black folks, etc. would run to embrace him, take him in, that his black identity would be unquestionable because then he would be a victim of racial hatred, injustice, all the things we've come to define blackness by.

If you ask me, Barak Obama is one of the truest African Americans you can find. He is of mixed race and tell me how many of us aren't. He has a direct connection and lineage in both Africa and America. He took advantage of the opportunities in this country and he has ascended the political ranks and is now a viable presidential candidate. Is that not what black folk are about? Dealing with their double consciousness, the reality of skin color and racism, and triumphing over that to do great things? Things that one could never conceive?

I was at a talk yesterday called "theorizing blackness" and I was so frustrated. No one laid out the terms. What is blackness? What does that even mean anymore? My biggest issue is that the conversation again focused on defining blackness in negative terms - as sharing experiences of oppression - etc. That is fine, but that is not all blackness is, but no one is talking about that. I think the reason Obama is having such a hard time proving his "blackness" is because he isn't necessarily repeating the rhetoric of subjugation that we often hear from folks in the limelight. To me we need to change the terms of the discussion. We have to start thinking about blackness in more positive terms.

During the discussion, someone asked what role blackness has played in the imagination - in black artistry. One panelist said that he felt that blackness was a limitor to creativity. I can almost agree. When we define blackness in the negative, what we get are negative/cliched representations in our art. So, dropping g's in literature, and affecting some southern dialect becomes black expression (when for some that's just not how they communicate) becomes the standard. Or in hip hop where an oppressed identity is mandatory (as in being from the ghetto or poor - which in truth is not the sum total of contemporary African American experience - some folks have stuff and we have to be okay with that - and rappers who come from something more need to stop feeling self conscious about it and misrepresenting themselves), we see a regurgitation of these negative images - violence, drugs, etc. That hinders the creative process to me because it's not that this is not a lived experience for some, but when it is not functioning as subversive, when it is a calling card and not innovation, it is bland and unimaginative.

If one thing the discussion showed me was that we don't know how to talk about blackness anymore. We need a different/new vocabulary. We also need to understand that blackness has been commodified, coopted, and not representative. That we are still victims of "thingification". We have to stop being "products" but rather "producers".

Although I should be writing my paper that is overdue and my extension deadline is TODAY, I just have to take the time out to present to you

Ms. Emma Faust Tillman

Yes, the oldest person in the world is a sista. Here's the story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070125/us_nm/oldest_dc. 114 years old. That's nice FOR HER. If I ever get to be 114 I'm gone dig my own grave, plan my own service, sing at it, call Jesus and ask him is my room ready, tell him to expect me at 3:00 pm sharp barring any minor delays. I'm sorry, by that time I have LIVED. That woman looks tired. I'm happy for her, but I just wonder how that feels.

Well, back to writing.

I haven't really updated because I just really haven't had anything to say. Sometimes I sit down to type and I'm like what the hell am I saying. I've been reading a lot of things that I'd like to talk about and thinking a lot of stuff but nothing comes out. I just finished watching Will Smith's tribute on Bravo and it was really cute. I don't know why but I'm really attached to his and Jada's relationship. It's like they're the new school Ozzie Davis and Ruby Dee. When he gave all his thank yous at the end it was positively beautiful. And the chemistry between he and Jada was so real. They cried when thinking about each other quite a few times during the show. When she saluted him, I was just about broken down. I know their relationship is far from perfect. (Hell all them fine leading ladies saluting him - Eva Mendes, Thandie Newton, etc) - I'm sure there are moments where tests of the relationship come up. But in all the unreality that is Hollywood - Will and Jada are quite real to me.

Also, we just got count them TWO new tvs. Both flat panel 1080p tvs. The one in our living room is 46 inches. And the one in our basement (specifically for my hubby's XBox 360) is 37". Our living room tv now has a souped up entertainment center that is cherry oak and frosted glass. As I type, my husband is having multiple orgasms. We will be having a threesome with High Definition tonight. LOL!

The place where my orgasms have been coming from in our house? Our plush new pillow top mattresses from Stearns and Foster. OMG pillow top bed sink inside it and roll.

Why did we buy all this stuff? I have no idea. Sometimes you just gotta treat yourself I guess. But just so you know - there are affairs being carried on in our home and they are all with inanimate objects. I think it's quite healthy. LOL!

I'm stuffed. I had a quarter pounder with cheese and fries for the SECOND DAY IN A ROW. I'm going to need to do a cleanse to get all these toxins out of my body.

In other news, I did much of my Christmas shopping today. I found more good stuff for my husband's folks than my own. He did much of the work, but it was my great ideas that helped him hook his folks up. When he sees the glee on their faces, he is going to owe me big time. I also bought many of the items for my family. My fam is hard to shop for because I have three younger siblings and two fierce 80+ year old grandmothers who make me drop cash like I'm Donald Trump or somebody. I have a hard time restraining myself when it comes to people I love. This would explain why I can't save any friken money.

Funny story. I was getting a book for my African American Drama class. Here is the phone conversation with me and the white girl from Barnes and Noble.

Her: Hi thanks for calling Barnes and Noble. Can I help you?
Me: Yes, I need to know if you have a play.
Her: Can you spell the author's name please?
Me: S-h-a-n-g-e
Her: Okay, first name
Me: (I accidentally say it) Ntozake
Her: Um . . .
Me: Sorry N-t-o-z-a-k-e
Her: Okay, I'm going to need the book title
Me: For colored girls who've considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf e-n-u-f
Her: (Gasps, nervous laughter,) Oh my, the title sounds scary. Are you okay?
Me: (Feeling like I'm about to be counseled)Yes, I'm okay. It's a fictional work, no intentional self help

When I go to pick up the book, the older white lady who checks me out tries to counsel me. I guess she saw "colored girls" and "suicide" and was trying to help my poor tragic colored self. Wierdest book buying experience I've had in a long time.

Well, I'm off to go hang some Christmas wreaths and get in the spirit of the season. Maybe even drank a little something. *sings Donny Hathaway's "This Christmas" and booty bumps with ya'll down the soul train line*